I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just saw a hot homeless man
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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