the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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