all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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