i think i have two assholes
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
this will be a night to untag.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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