Your tits are I can't wait for
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
