My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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