Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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