It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
