There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
