Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
