She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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