Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
