R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
