New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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