Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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