I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
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I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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