god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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