Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
