I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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