so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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