Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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