is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
