my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
ugly people sure do ruin things
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Are we still banned from the library?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
