Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
