my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
