forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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