If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just want to make out with him forever
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I am naked and annoyed.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
