you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
