Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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