There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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