Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
