What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
