I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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