how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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