she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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