I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
