the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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