we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize