i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize