I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
