Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
