i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
