it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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