he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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