my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
