he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
