Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
