Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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