I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
