The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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