I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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