You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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