If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
