the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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