Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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