doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
