Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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