I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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