She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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