I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
