how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
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Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I love you. Go after that dick
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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