you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
A bitchslap is in order.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
