He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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