i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
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