then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
bring money and cleavage
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
