If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
