You can't motorboat a personality
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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