found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
