Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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