like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Sober January is a disaster.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
